How to Journal
On effective journaling and writing to self-soothe.
Some people are repulsed by journaling. Others are regular notes app addicts. Then there’s the small majority who buy elaborately decorated journals with prompts, stickers and colour coordinating pens, religiously pouring out their heart to an audience of one.
In essence, there is no one way to journal. But if you ask me, everyone should do it.
And there are ways to get the best out of your journaling session.
- Write to know yourself, NOT to fix yourself
Whilst I’m no licensed psychologist, like you, I am a long term patient of my own pain. One that has tried almost every medication for my condition(s).
I am a wellness junkie.
As a victim of this industry, understand the marketing strategy that is being ‘broken’ and the never-ending ‘healing journey’.
The reality is you will never be healed because you are not broken. Life can either be a cycle of bruises or a collection of badges. The experiences that bring you to the lowly trudge of writing your feelings on paper is part of the plot: your personal coming-of age screenplay telling the story of whoever you’re supposed to be.
Instead of writing to rectify, write to release. Write to process whatever it is that you are feeling. Write to understand what angers you, what triggers that which is suppressed, what makes you happy and most importantly, what keeps you going.
- Write on good days
It’s easy to journal on bad days because trauma is typically bottled up, in need of release.
Many therapists recommend journaling to cope with heavy mental health issues such as depression, anxiety and stress. Particularly in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) cognitive journalling is a strategy designed to challenge and disrupt negative thoughts.
Whilst this is all well and good for those who rightfully need it, whenever you decide to read back your entries, this does not make for the best reading material.
The things that made you happy also deserve air time. This is not about writing gratitude lists. Those are nothing but clear top coat polish over chapped nails. For me, journalling is about understanding how your mind is wired. It’s not just about releasing frustration but appreciation.
As a generation, we’re so good at capturing the moment, at fitting happiness into a frame.
Your best days are just as beautiful in the written word as they are on film.
- Write any and everywhere
In a previous article, I detailed thoughts on paper vs the notes app as well as bringing your physical journal with you on your travels. Yes you should write where you are comfortable. And where’s the most comfortable place you know, probably your bed right ? Or maybe a super soft couch or a coveted bean bag. It might even be the bathroom.
I wonder whether that is also the place where you’ve cried the most. Where you go when you want to lock the world away.
Is that the same pillow you’ve punched vigorously whilst it soaked up your snot-filled tears.
TMI ?
The point is that your most comfortable place has also seen you at your lowest. So I ask, would your journal entries read differently when you’re on the train, in the middle of a queue, at a cafe table, or even another friends home?
Here, I am encouraging you to be emotionally agile.
Be your own 999 respondent.
Don’t just write to rant but to reassure yourself-wherever you need it. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with [going to] where you feel comfort. Those places are special and your safety is important.
Whilst I don’t suggest journaling to fix yourself, it is not to stay stagnant either.
Feeling comfortable does not have to rely on what surrounds you. Expressing emotion can be a remote activity and not simply a part of your night routine. Journaling is a bit like prayer: write when you are moved, not simply by routine.
- Write until you’re empty
Ever heard of the saying cry until you have no tears left to shed. Writing is like crying without the tissue pile. Instead it’s sheets and sheets of ink. Again, I’m not a psychologist, just a former A level psychology student turned politics undergrad. From my experience, some situations eventually loosen their grip on you; like a song you once played on repeat for days but then became bored of, or like chewing gum that becomes gooey and stringy after hours in your mouth.
You will run out of things to say. Or rather, you’ll have less and less to say.
Better yet, you may have revelations as you write, discover new perspectives or admit to yourself things you wouldn’t say out loud. This comes from fleshing out the story and having multiple entries, again and again and again until you get tired of your own trauma.
- Write before you rant
This one is for my over-sharers and trauma dumpers.
We are innocently repeating offenders.
Those of blessed enough to have friends and family who carry our baggage even when it consistently exceeds their limit should really count ourselves lucky. It is highly necessary to practice asking your friends for the space you need to vent to them before you do it.
Not simply for their sake but for your own.
Expelling complex, unprocessed emotions on to a friend is damaging as well as comforting. On paper, these feelings can be unpacked in a relatively secure and controlled environment. At least then your feelings are held together by staples, stitches and glue instead or being at the mercy of your well-meaning yet unqualified-therapist bestie. You’ll find that you won’t have as much to get rid of once you’ve already emptied your storage.
You may not know what you want or need but you will have control over who ‘stewards your vulnerability’.
If you’ve found yourself receiving advice from me, at one point or another I may have told you to journal about your current situation. Regrettably for me and my agenda, it may not work for everyone. The story lines in our minds are as vivid and unique as the lives we live. Nonetheless, your physical and mental health work in tandem with each other. You track your weight, your height, your hair length, your finances, some track their daily steps, their calorie intake, personal bests, you catch my drift.
Track your emotions too.
